Tough times never last, tough people do.
Tough times never last, tough people do.
Creative
Creative quotes and status updates.
37 items
Just high fived that wall with my face.
Just high fived that wall with my face.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
I’ve set my life goals to stuff I’ve already done so literally every day now I’m overachieving. It’s all about perspective.
I’ve set my life goals to stuff I’ve already done so literally every day now I’m overachieving. It’s all about perspective.
I will stop drinking when captain Morgan puts his foot down.
I will stop drinking when captain Morgan puts his foot down.
That awkward moment when you don’t know how to reply to a really sweet text.
That awkward moment when you don’t know how to reply to a really sweet text.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.
The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.
Who remembers going on the computer as kids, just to go on paint and space pinball?
Who remembers going on the computer as kids, just to go on paint and space pinball?
Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
If you’re told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like the eternity.
If you’re told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like the eternity.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I’m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, how to kill the person behind me.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I’m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, how to kill the person behind me.
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1
My friends: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the heck back to sleep.
My friends: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the heck back to sleep.
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
That awkward moment when you’re at your friend’s house and he are getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the dog.
That awkward moment when you’re at your friend’s house and he are getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the dog.
Crying doesn’t indicate that you're weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you’re alive.
Crying doesn’t indicate that you're weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you’re alive.
Amazons recommendations are like that friend who heard you say ninja once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Amazons recommendations are like that friend who heard you say ninja once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
I don’t watch TV proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.
I don’t watch TV proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
Please hold, your call is important to us. Not hire more operators important. But like if you need to hang up, that’s cool important.
Please hold, your call is important to us. Not hire more operators important. But like if you need to hang up, that’s cool important.
Saying what? And then realizing what they said a second later.
Saying what? And then realizing what they said a second later.
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
How many boxes of these thin mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
How many boxes of these thin mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
Actions speak louder than words, so believe what you see and forget what you heard.
Actions speak louder than words, so believe what you see and forget what you heard.
Don’t make me regret letting you merge into my lane.
Don’t make me regret letting you merge into my lane.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
Impossible only means that you haven’t found the solution yet.
Impossible only means that you haven’t found the solution yet.
Topless pictures of the royal family don’t shock me as much as pictures of them doing manual labor would.
Topless pictures of the royal family don’t shock me as much as pictures of them doing manual labor would.
Just cause you’re sleeping with someone doesn’t automatically make them yours. If there’s no commitment, then it’s all fair game.
Just cause you’re sleeping with someone doesn’t automatically make them yours. If there’s no commitment, then it’s all fair game.
The best part about this status message is that by the time you’ve finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it.
The best part about this status message is that by the time you’ve finished reading it you realize that there is absolutely no point to it.
The past tense of sink is winked.
The past tense of sink is winked.
Whenever someone says to me things could be worse I punch them in the face and say like that?
Whenever someone says to me things could be worse I punch them in the face and say like that?
Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago,
Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago,
The earth without art is just eh.
The earth without art is just eh.